Early signs of autistic overload and burnout

Your body knew before you did

In hindsight, the signals were always there. The tension in your jaw. The headache you pushed aside. The feeling in your chest you couldn't name. Your body was sending messages, but you'd learned to ignore them.

That's not strange. When you're autistic, interoception (perceiving what's happening inside your body) often works differently. Some signals you don't feel, others you feel too much. Hunger, pain, fatigue, tension: it comes in delayed or distorted. Because of that you cross boundaries without noticing.

Three phases of overload

Most overload follows three phases. Recognizing those phases is the first step to stopping earlier.

1. Before: signals indicating you're heading toward your limit. Subtle, easy to ignore. Mild tension, shorter fuse, more difficulty with decisions.
2. During: you're past your limit. Stimuli become too much, emotions flip, you can't think clearly. This is where most people first notice it.
3. After: the aftermath. Exhaustion, withdrawal, a recovery period that takes longer than expected.

Why boundaries are so hard

Setting boundaries is extra complicated for many autistic people. Not because you don't know what you need, but because your whole life you've learned that what you need isn't a priority.

• You've learned that saying no causes problems
• You feel responsible for how others react to your boundary
• You often only realize you've crossed your limit after the fact
• The consequences of setting boundaries (disappointment, conflict) feel too costly
• You underestimate how full you are until it's too late

Learning boundaries doesn't start with 'saying no'. It starts with recognizing signals. When you know what's happening in your body before you cross your limit, you have a choice point. Without that information you have nothing to steer by.

Learning to read body signals

This is something that goes slowly. You won't go from 'I notice nothing' to 'I know exactly what my body is saying' in a day. But you can start by looking back.

Think of the last time you became overloaded. Try to rewind. What did you feel before? What did your body do during? And how did the aftermath feel?

• Before: tension in your body, shorter temper, escape thoughts, restlessness in your stomach
• During: overstimulation, tunnel vision, tears, anger, the feeling of being stuck
• After: extreme tiredness, emotional hangover, withdrawal, heightened sensitivity

The signal diary

The tool below is a simple diary for body signals. You describe per situation what you felt before, during and after overload. Not every day, but whenever you notice something happening.

After filling it in a few times, a pattern starts to emerge. That pattern is your early warning system.