Telling Your Colleagues
The decision to be open about autism at work. When it helps, when it doesn't, and what you can say without explaining everything.
Things to consider
Reasons to tell them
- Colleagues understand why you do some things differently
- You don't have to pretend everything is easy anymore
- You can be more specific about what you need
- Misunderstandings about your behavior decrease
What might hold you back
- You're afraid of prejudice or being treated differently
- You don't want to become 'the autistic colleague'
- You don't know how your manager or HR will react
- You're afraid it might be used against you
Who to tell first
- Start with the colleague you trust most
- You don't have to tell the whole team at once
- Consider your manager first, then colleagues — or the other way around, depending on who feels safer
- You can also decide to only tell a few people
How to say it
"I want to tell you something. I'm autistic. That explains why I approach some things differently."
"It doesn't change my work. It might help you understand my behavior better."
"I'm telling you because I want you to know why I sometimes wear headphones or need to sit alone for a bit."
Possible reactions
"Really? I never would have guessed!"
They see your mask, not the cost. This isn't a compliment and it's not rejection — it's ignorance.
"Oh, my nephew is autistic too"
They're trying to connect. Let it be, you don't need to explain that autism looks different in everyone.
Awkward silence
They don't know what to say. That's okay. Give them a few days to process.
"What can I do?"
The best response. Be specific: 'If you want to interrupt me, send a message instead of walking up to my desk.'