When Your Child Might Also Be Autistic
You recognise things in your child. Things you know from yourself. That is confronting. But it might also be the best thing that could happen to your child.
Your experience as a superpower
Because you are autistic yourself, you have something many parents don't: an inside perspective. You know how it feels when the world is too loud, too fast, too much. You know what you missed as a child.
That means you can give your child what you didn't get — not out of guilt, but out of understanding.
Possible signs
Every child is different. These signs don't automatically mean autism. But if you recognise several, it's good to have a professional take a look.
Difficulty with transitions
From playing to eating, from inside to outside — every switch is a struggle.
Intense reactions to stimuli
Hands over ears when vacuuming, refuses certain clothing, only eats three things.
Diving very deep into interests
Can talk about dinosaurs for hours, knows every detail, seems to forget the rest of the world.
Difficulty with peers
Prefers to play alone or with older/younger children. Doesn't understand the "rules" of play.
Extreme need for routine
Gets upset when the route to school is different, wants the same ritual every evening.
Delayed reactions
Seems fine at school, but explodes at home. Holds it together all day and lets go in a safe environment.
Do
- •Observe without labelling — note what you notice
- •Use your own experience as a compass, not as a diagnosis
- •Talk to your GP or child health clinic if you have concerns
- •Find a professional with experience in autism in children
- •Keep seeing your child as your child, not as a "possibly autistic child"
Don't
- •Self-diagnose — recognition is not the same as diagnosis
- •Project: not everything you recognise in yourself is the same in your child
- •Wait "until it passes" when you genuinely see signs
- •Panic: early recognition is an advantage, not a disaster
- •Feel guilty — autism is not "your fault"
About grief and guilt
If your child is autistic, it can touch old pain. "Did I pass this on?" "Could I have prevented it?" The answer: you did nothing wrong. Autism is neurological, not something you "cause."
And if you feel grief — about the path your child might not take, about the extra challenges — that's allowed. Grief and love exist side by side.
What you can offer
- Early recognition. You see signs that others miss, precisely because you know them from the inside.
- A safe home. You understand why they have a meltdown. You don't react with "just act normal" but with "I understand."
- Strategies. What helps you — structure, predictability, low-sensory environments — probably helps your child too.
- Normalisation. If your child sees that you are autistic and doing well, that is the most powerful role model there is.